“Don’t smack.”
“Do not talk with your
mouth full.”
“Please put your
napkin in your lap.”
“Elbows off the
table.”
We have all heard these things many
times and have learned what it means to have proper table manners. Have you
ever stopped to think why we follow these rules and where exactly they came
from?
As I was searching for the
particulars that go beyond the basic rules of napkin etiquette, I was surprised
to find out how many people do not know the importance of putting their napkins in their laps! Oh my!
Napkins originated in France where
they began as a large napkin that was shared around the table (eww). Gradually
napkins became a more personal size, and by the 1700’s there were rules in
place to guide one in its use.
Once the hostess has taken her
napkin from the table and placed it in her lap, you may do the same. Leaving
your napkin on the table is a sign of bad manners. Placing the napkin in your lap
has two basic functions. First, the napkin is not to be seen and can be hidden
under the table in your lap. Second, crumbs that drop will most likely fall to
your lap, and more than one spoiled outfit has been avoided by having a napkin
in its proper place! Because napkins are not to be seen, they should be placed
discreetly in your chair and not on the table, if you have to excuse yourself
for any reason.
Napkins are to dab the food from your mouth, not wipe it.
When the meal is over you can then
place the napkin on the table to the left of your plate. If your napkin was in
a napkin ring it should begin by having the point facing towards your chair.
When you finish the meal you should return the napkin to the ring and face it
towards the center of the table (still on the left side of your plate).
Although there are times when it
seems that it might be best to tuck your napkin under your chin, the only time
this is appropriate would be a meal of lobster or a place where it was culturally
acceptable (not here!). Otherwise, “napkin in your lap” should remain the
standard.
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