Things Change

It's been almost two years since I wrote my first post on Silk and Purple. The design and creation of it was something I'd sneak away and work on every moment I could, because it had been an idea for four years beforehand. The ministry of this blog has reached far beyond my imagination, has reached countries closed to the gospel -- and it has and is growing me. I am a different person since 2007, but that is what we all do -- we change.

Our situations, knowledge, aspirations, style...they all change.

Before I continue with these ramblings, I must say I COULD NOT do this without my excellent team of committed individuals whose talents are used not for self, but unto the Lord! I can't tell you how many times a post by Elyse, Hope, Season, or Meghan has encouraged me. And without the countless hours of our editor making sure the posts don't look like this....

she was my frend. We where always happly engadged in games.

(Yes, this is rather close to what things look like before editing of this dyslexic writer.)

Here on Silk and Purple we are turning a new corner! We are all growing up and having new responsibilities and life paths open! Yet we still know the calling of sharing the goodness of Christ and encouraging Christian sisters in the Lord is not something we can give up.

We will be posting on Silk and Purple, but not every day as we once did. As you can tell, our posts are a little stretched out already, so we are going for more quality instead of quantity. If the Lord ever lays a post on your heart, email it to us.

Please pray for us as we start this leg of our journey, that the Lord will clearly show His direction for Silk and Purple. Things change, but our Lord never does, and that is only one of the reasons why we do what we do.

Save the World

If you are not aware of the many problems in our world, watch the news for 30 seconds. There's no denying we have some BIG problems.

Maybe you choose to overlook those problems and go on your merry way, or maybe you are caught up in the frantic free fall, desiring to fix all the problems you can and now it has emptied you dry. Either way, you might be unbalanced with the call of saving the world.

As young women we are told by our American culture we can do anything. 

(Anything that is spectacularly amazing, that is.)

 If we are not reaching to gain the impossible, then somehow we are considered lazy and/or dumb. Even within Christian culture, we are encouraged to be "light," and I completely agree.

The Bible calls us to be that light, but oftentimes we imagine that light as a spotlight on us on a huge stage. This spotlight shows the world what we are doing and highlights our great actions and our great failures. It's a lot of pressure, and many of us have been living in that spotlight for so long that we are becoming blinded by the light and are fumbling around as the sinful world watches our weariness overtake our actions. 

We feel the presure to be "great," save the world, and still be beautiful as we accomplish such goals. We start believing that the mundane, boring parts of life are beneath us, because somehow the giving of our time is above the little things like sweeping, washing a dog, caring for the elderly, or investing in a relationship where you have "nothing to gain."

Sisters, this is not what Christ means when He wants us to be lights. Being a light does not mean you have a spotlight on you -- it means that you are the spotlight. You are the one who brings light to darkness, highlighting others and showing not your capabilities for self gain, but for Christ.

I am GUILTY of this sin. I have many times fooled myself thinking I'm an important part of God's work in saving the world... and I am, but He can do His work without me. 

He doesn't need me, but He does want me.

He wants me passionately, because I am His child, but when my ambitions become centered around my pride, then He will find another to truly share His cause. To be a light doesn't mean we are only His servants in the great things like speaking to thousands of people, writing best sellers, or becoming renowned in the arts and sciences -- let's remember our Lord, who washed the feet of His disciples, lived a life of homelessness, and humbled himself to death on a cross... all for us.

Your life will be filled with thankless jobs. It will be boring at times, but if your calling seems less glamorous, do not think it's less important. Serve Christ and build His kingdom! Be that light, but don't seek to gain the spotlight. We CANNOT save the world, but we can lovingly point those to the Christ who has saved us!

Praise Him!

Dove Beauty Sketches ~ Part 2

A viral video by Dove has hit the Internet. Here is the video.

When I first saw this, I thought that it was a really creative way to talk about beauty! As women, the picture we paint in our minds is usually negative. We focus on the aspects we don't like. 

Now, let's not talk about sales behind this ad. (Dove is a company that sells beauty products.) Let's talk truth about beauty!

The two completed sketches in the video look very different, but what if the woman really did look like the first picture? Would that make her any less beautiful?

As we have talked before, the definition of beauty is one that changes from culture to culture. In order for us to not have a worldly definition of beauty, we must be founded in the Lord's standards.

"Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth." 
Psalm 50:2

"Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor..." 
Ezekiel 28:17

These two verses show two very different versions of beauty. The first talks about the beauty of the Lord and its perfection. The latter verse talks about the beauty of man being corrupt. Is it not amazing that scripture tells us God has a standard for beauty? The standard is one that is holy and pure and God calls us to strive for that perfect everlasting beauty.

"...but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
1 Peter 3:4

So I'm going to say something that might shock you. 

Girls, you are less beautiful than you think.

This being said, I'm NOT talking about exterior beauty -- beauty that is perishable with time and death or that changes with culture or fad. Beauty within the soul is what we should strive to attain that will last into eternity with Christ. Apart from Him, our hearts are not beautiful at all because of sin. It is only the perfect beauty of Christ that covers us and gives us the longing to become beautiful.

I'm not against Dove. I think more people need to encourage women to embrace the bodies the Lord gives us. We should strive for beauty (on the inward person and the exterior) -- NOT for the sake of beauty, but for the glorification of the Lord Who is the Author of beauty!

"One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple."
Psalm 27:4

The Pure Woman, or the Invisible Woman?

          Have you ever noticed how most modern TV shows just won't seem to admit that the pure woman exists? To name a few:

The Gypsy Sisters

Long Island Medium

and, though the title doesn't sound like it,

Preachers' Daughters

I don't know if you've ever heard of these reality shows, but trust me, all I needed to see were their commercials before discerning that the women and young girls on these shows were not doing what God created them to do. Instead of glorifying Him, they are sending a message to the public that glorifies impurity. I can't help but think, "What happened to Laura Ingalls, or Anne of Green Gables? Why'd they have to go and replace them with influences like Jennifer Love Hewitt and the Kardashians?" It's almost as if the Duggar girls are some of the only godly women that TLC will come within a fifty-foot radius of. But the more I thought about it, the more it became clear. One of the big reasons is that the godly girls are a lot less common than we realize.

Growing up the way I have, I always assumed that women of God were "normal women," but as I've gotten older, I've come to the conclusion that being pure is considered unusual and even unnatural in our world. And some of our most popular TV shows make it even worse by warping our view so that we think that being impure is "the thing to do," and that purity is a sign of being unattractive to those around us. "But purity is a gift from God," we reason. "So that can't be true." Well, I know the truth just as well as you do, but what about all the lost souls out there? They look to the idols of our society as a comfort to fill the empty place in their lives when really they should be looking to God. The pure woman has become the "invisible woman" to them because they don't know anything but what the world has to offer.

Even though it's not so likely that you'll star in a reality show someday, remember this. You are in charge of your own reality, so make it count. Spend time with God and with the godly women in your life and let them be your examples, instead of the people you see on TV. Because let's face it. Half the things they do are fake, but God is real and so are you. As a pure woman, you are not an invisible woman, and it's your job to show that to the world -- one person at a time. Because our God can heal the blind, and thanks to Him, we can be the tool He uses to show light. We can help lift the scales of worldliness off the eyes of the people around us so that they can see our Savior's Glorious Light. Purity is a gift, and if we use it rightly, it can shine brighter than all the glory and fame in the world.  

   

The Kingdom of God and the Role of His Daughters

  This week one of my Sunday School teachers said something that really got me thinking. She said, "What picture comes to mind when you think of the Kingdom of God?" Well, what do you see? I see a group of people, all vastly different and yet one in the same. We are the same because we are linked together by a love for Jesus and a desire to bring His Good News unto the world. Although we aren't perfect, God fills in our gaps, and thanks to Him we can do our own unique jobs to further His Kingdom in our temporary home. Well, thinking about this group where we are all connected and each serves their own purpose, I had another pondering that was really a revelation to me. For the first time in my life, I thought long and hard about our role as women in His Kingdom. And believe it or not, after much prayer and Scripture-reading, I found that our standard job is a lot different than that of our Brothers in Christ.

  For those of you who have read the 23rd and 31st chapters of Proverbs, we know that women are a majestic part of creation as a helper to their husbands and a protector of their children. It saddens me to see so many young girls trying to "change their image" in an attempt to be more like their male counterparts. They think that men are somehow more important than women just because God made men the protectors of the human race and the leaders of many aspects of society. It frustrates them to read in God's Word that "a woman is to be submissive to her husband." Little do they realize that this "softer nature" that God instilled in them is a blessing and not a curse. A gentle spirit is known to be much more persuasive than a harsh one, is it not? So if a woman recognizes the true potential of her role in the Kingdom, she can use it to win others to Christ and to care for His people. Although it may seem that our job description is a little more behind the scenes than that of a male leader, our ability to witness is really just as effective. Because the joy in the heart of a loving servant of the Lord can spread like wildfire and increase the Kingdom in more ways than you would think.

So if someone asks you about the Kingdom of God, don't just tell them about what it will be when we're in heaven. Tell them of the extension of the Kingdom here on earth that is growing every day and the strong, beautiful, confident women that contribute to it. Because, whether you realize it or not, you're one of them. So if you're feeling unimportant, take heart. You're a Daughter of the King, and with His help, you can make diciples for Him until Kingdom Come.

Mopey Valentine

I get excited when Valentine's comes around! Not because I receive chocolates, hearts, stuffed bears, or cards from an admiring fellow, but because I love talking about love.

Please be warned this is not another blog post about "loving yourself" or "waiting for love." This is a post about loving, love, and giving love unconditionally!

Now, if you're thinking about love as the Disney type or the romantic comedy, then you don't really love love. Why? Because you really don't understand love. You might understand an imitation, but this fraudulent love is not the same. Guess what? I don't understand true love, either, because to truly understand love would be to truly understand God, for He is love.

Did you grasp that? God is love!

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

I John 1:16

He must be a great lover because He loved us so greatly and passionately that while we were still haters of Him, the Holy Spirit pursued us! One of my favorite songs puts it pretty perfectly.

love I made it mine

I made it small I made it blind

I followed hard only to find

it wasn't love

it wasn't love

love of songs and pen

oh love of movie endings

takes out the break

leaves out the bend

misses love

love not of you 

love not of me

come hold us up

come set us free

not as we know it

but as it can be

love's reality 

is not a passing bravery

it holds out hope beyond what's seen

the hope of love

love not of you 

love not of me

come hold us up

come set us free

not as we know it

but as it can be

"Love not as we know it, but as it can be." Wow. If we got beyond paper hearts and candy and found out what it truly is, what would we find? I think it would be a lot of giving of ourselves -- opening our hearts and sharing the burdens of others, not for personal gain. Scripture identifies love.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Instead of this sweetness of true love in the body of Christ, I see (and I'm sure you've noticed, too) what I call Mopey Valentines. These valentines mope, because they say that they want someone to love them, or that they aren't getting enough attention. The pleasing of self will never fulfill you, but so often we try. I fall into this. It's fun for a little while, but empty in the end.

So no moping allowed! 

Celebrate true love this year! Learn to love, love!

This week on Silk and Purple, we plan to do just that!

Caution... Wet Paint

It all started with a few drops of paint on a white ceiling. But add a "too independent for her own good" teenager into the mix, and you've got a disaster on your hands. What I mean is this.

Over the Christmas holidays, my sister and I decided it would be fun to paint our bathroom. We figured it couldn't be too hard, considering that it's the smallest room in our house. So we got out our supplies and set to work, thinking that it wouldn't take more than an hour. Boy, were we wrong. About five minutes in, I started painting the lines along the ceiling. We had already taken the utmost precaution, lining the whole thing with painter's tape. But right away I noticed that the paint just wouldn't go on like I wanted it to. Soon enough, there were little grey splatters on the ceiling above me. Now I want to go ahead and mention that my sister was all for going and asking our dad to help clean up the mess, but I had other plans. I don't know if I was too wrapped up in the project or if I was afraid the paint wouldn't come off, but I did know one thing for sure: that I was going to fix this all by myself.

 

I remembered that earlier when we were in our garage picking out the paint for the walls, I noticed a can of white paint on the back of one of the shelves. Can you guess what happened next? That's right. I gave our ceiling a little paint job that made the situation go from bad to worse. So when my mom and dad came downstairs, probably expecting to admire our work, they were greeted by the nasty surprise of large paint smears on the ceiling that looked like water leaks. Long story short, my sister and I ended up babysitting my little brother all afternoon while my mom painted over the ENTIRE ceiling. And I know I said it was a small room, but you try craning your neck up in the air for a few hours and you'll see it wasn't all that easy.

So I'm sure you're wondering why I'd want to share this story. I mean, it wasn't exactly my most triumphant hour, and to be honest, when I saw the damage I was so frustrated that I didn't even see the humor in it when my mom all-too cleverly reminded me that the paint can said flat wall, not flat ceiling. But there's a moral in this story that I think is important for girls around my age to realize. If I had just asked someone else to help, the problem could have been solved in minutes, but I was too busy trying to do it all. I thought that I could fix everything without any help, when I really just made it all worse. In a way, we do the same thing to God sometimes. We try to be too independent, thinking we can make it through life's predicaments relying only on our own capability. But I've learned that as capable as we people can be, God will always be all-powerful and we cannot. So set aside your pride and realize that the answer to life's frustrations is not always common sense. Instead of relying on yourself, who (no offense) is only human and has weaknesses just like any other person, lean on God. He's called the Rock of Ages for a reason, and that reason is that He can withstand our troubles for the long haul. Lastly, learn from my mistake. It's okay to ask people for help when the "wet paint" of your life tries to get the best of you. Accept the extra help, and move on to your next challenge. Because I don't know about you, but I've got too many everyday situations going on to worry about every excess splash of color on my canvas of life.

Why Mothers Matter

If there's one thing about me worth knowing, it's that I love my mom. She's smart, funny, and one of the only people I know who could handle raising two teenage girls and two boys aged one and seven. I think of her as a friend to confide in and a godly example to live by. But unfortunately, a lot of young girls don't like or appreciate their mothers as much as they need to.

Now I know what you might be thinking. "This isn't Mother's Day. Why is she talking about moms?" Well, I know this sounds kind of weird, but I feel like this is a subject God's been calling me to write about. It saddens me to see girls arguing with their moms in public or to hear friends of mine complain about their moms when it's obvious that they don't realize their moms are trying to protect them. I'm not saying that I have a perfect relationship with my mother; nobody does. We have our share of disagreements just like any other mother and daughter, but she's always there for me.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many woman do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:26-31

 The main point of this post is that mothers are some of the most noble, loving, and loyal people on earth. They never leave your side no matter what, because that's the way God made them. They provide not only their children, but everyone around them, with a sense of true and never-fleeting beauty unlike any other. But most of all, they teach us to be the godly women we were made to be. All that I am I owe to my mom and all the other women in my life. And if God blesses me with children when I am grown, I hope I can be half the mother to them that my mom has been to me.

 

So don't take your mom for granted, because you may not always have her. And don't forget to let all the other beautiful women in your life know how much you love them. Because whether or not you realize it, they care a lot about you. If you and your mom are arguing about something right now, just let her know you want to stop. Every minute you spend upset with each other is one less that you could have spent being happy and enjoying your special relationship. Enjoy your mom, and let her enjoy you. It's one of the best relationships you can have.

*********************************

By the way, love you, Mama! ;)

The Skirt vs Pants Post

"Choose your battles wisely."

You have probably heard this old adage or something like it, and the gravity of this statement rings true.

I'm weary of it.

I'm weary of hearing about and being torn by the controversy, and if you grew up homeschooled or are still being homeschooled, you might be torn about this subject, too.

Skirts vs Pants!!!!!!!!

(Cue creepy music)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha! You knew we were bound to cover this topic on Silk and Purple some day. Yet, in all honesty, I really didn't know how to approach it at first. I can tell you my personal story of how I have swung back and forth, either feeling "liberated, yet guilty" or "virtuous, yet pious." At the age of 5, I would throw a tantrum if I couldn't wear a beautiful dress even to play in the mud. When I became a little older, I grew up in the homeschooling community where I would choose dresses and skirts when attending a conference or seminar, but in my day-to-day life, I really didn't think much about it. I wore skirts, jumpers, dresses, jeans, capris, slacks, bermudas... and who can forget the classy overalls. When I was about 15, I read a lot about the feminist movement and the need to reclaim femininity again. One way I thought I could do this was to put on skirts and dresses ONLY. I got into blogs about how to wear long skirts while scrubbing the bathtub; many of my friends and I would chat about the virtues of skirts over pants; and acquaintances often remarked about how I always was so dressed up, i.e., this was code for, "She is always wearing skirts."

And so this continued, and I stood on my little soapbox and preached the glad tidings of feminine glory! Skirts and dresses to all women and to all a goodnight!

And then I did something foolish. I hurt someone I love over this subject. My sister and I are total opposites in some ways. She sports a baseball cap while I might wear a beret, but in many ways we complement each other, keeping each other balanced and laughing, reminding each other to laugh at ourselves. But one day it wasn't a matter of laughter. I hurt my sister. She was in town for a visit with her newest little one and our family was going some place (I really don't recall where). At that time in my life, I ONLY wore skirts and dresses. Whenever Mom asked for some wardrobe advice, I would pull out... you can guess. Jacqueline, who recently had had a baby, didn't have many options of clothing due to her beautifully changing body. I didn't necessarily say that my sister was WRONG to wear pants, but I made it evident that I found greater virtue in "lady clothing."

I made my sister feel she was in someway less of an excellent woman to her family. She and her husband don't share the same convictions as I on this point, so I, in essence, was asking her to overstep what conclusions they had made for their family. When Mom told me I needed to check my pious attitude, I realized I was the one whose "excellence" needed to be examined.

So why do I tell you this story? After this ordeal, the Lord helped me to do a little heart reflecting. My passion for femininity started with wholesome intentions. It began as a quest to preserve my role as a woman. But simply wearing the "right" clothing does not make me have a godly, feminine heart. I know girls that, aside from wearing a jean skirt to the floor, seemingly have no idea what femininity is.

Now I'm not saying that if you choose skirts over pants, you are practicing the ways of a pharisee rather than a disciple, but honestly, I was. Somehow I felt like a more holy Christian. I was prideful about the impression of humility. Yet I did learn some very good lessons, too -- like it is just as easy to wear a dress as it is to throw on some capris. I am treated more gently by strangers. I also learned that keeping a difference in the way men and women dress is very glorifying to the Lord!

So my question to you is: Is this argument about skirts and pants worth the separation of community within the body of Christ?

I hope you are following me with a resounding NO.
Girls, we have MANY battles to fight. And making our army of the Lord weaker by bickering or constantly focusing on this issue is not getting us anywhere -- it's rather like a dog chasing its tail.

But this is an issue today among many Christians, and Paul was going through a similar one. Here is what he did:

 “All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising any question on the ground of conscience. For “the earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof.” If one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience. But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience— I do not mean your conscience, but his. For why should my liberty be determined by someone else's conscience?  If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks? So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.  Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.

1 Corinthians 10:23-33

During this time, the church had a great many issues to deal with -- a big one was eating the meat offered to idols. (Let's call them "Zeus burgers.") Christians in society wanted to win people over to Christ and they were faced with a problem of how the law of Moses and the pagan rituals would be felt within the new church. What Paul was saying here is, if as a Christian you eat a Zeus burger, then you are not in danger of falling from grace; however, if you have a friend who came from that pagan background and she has a conscience about the Zeus burgers, then it is wise not to eat one. You want others to be at ease around you, not feeling as if you are being judgmental.

Zeus burgers are a lot like clothing because the verse here says "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

I think the big question is: Do we believe this? Are we wearing jeans to the glory of God? Are we wearing swimsuits to the glory of God?

Hard questions, because we are going to need to examine our hearts. So here is my advice on how to move on from this feminine dressing dispute.

1. Read scripture and define femininity, not as weak and childish, but strong, noble, and wise.

2. Prayerfully consider how the Lord wants you to grow femininity in your life.

3. Respectfully talk out with your parents as to what they would like for you to express in your feminine appearance.

4. Don't over-think it. Make decisions and move on. Turn your thoughts to the everlasting treasures -- sharing and teaching Christ.

Personally I have taken these steps, and I've found that even when wearing a pant I can look very feminine. I do enjoy dresses, skirts, pants, and capris because of the usefulness of each garment in many different life challenges.

As always, femininity is not just the exterior, but the inward person shining through.

Heart Reflections ~ Part 2

We select our clothing and look in a mirror.

We watch ourselves as we brush our teeth, fix our hair, put on makeup, pluck our eyebrows, and select our accessories. Then we stand back and see how the whole appearance looks. We grab our coat and bag and give ourselves one more glance before walking out the door. During the drive, we put on lip gloss and before we walk into our appointment, we take one more moment to make sure our hair is in place.

Does all this staring into our looking glasses reveal our vanity, or are we just peering upon the wrong reflections?

All that is depicted above is a general average of how many times a young woman might see her reflection in a mirror when preparing to go out in public. Obviously we need mirrors for the placement of hair, the selection of flattering fashion, and for our beauty and hygiene regimens. The sole drive to accomplish these things is not just because we need to, but rather we want to be admired or accepted by others. We think about what others might think so we alter our likes to fit theirs.

As I've said before, it's okay to have the desire to be accepted. We are created with a sense of community. The imbalance happens when we make an idol out of either a crowd's or a person's acceptance rather than considering what our Creator thinks of us.

I'll be the first to admit that I easily fall into the sleepy slumber of a passive Christian life. Yet if I consider what my Heavenly Father thinks about me, how can I stay content with the old passive me? We need to desire His loving acceptance.

So we're going to need to peer into our reflections.
And that means we'll need a mirror,
 but not the one where we put on blush or pick broccoli out of our teeth. This mirror is not reflecting our external appearance, but rather the inward person -- our hearts, minds, and souls. I like to call these heart reflections, and sometimes it can be easy to push aside the grooming of the inward heart. Maybe it's because we don't want to or we have an overly hectic schedule. Things happen, and day by day it's easy to put off the inward upkeep for the One who always sees us -- Christ! If you don't floss and brush your teeth, what will happen? Decay will set in and your smile might resemble more of a jack-o-lantern. If you don't care for your hair, it will become knotted, gunky, and smelly. So why don't we think about our inward hearts the same way?

We are most prone to decay of the inward heart because Satan wants to pull us away from Christ. Can he succeed? The Bible says nothing can separate us from the love of Christ, but can he stunt our effective Christian life? Yes! We will not be positively impacting others.

So what type of mirror do we need? Our Father has made one that enables us to peer right into our souls. It's the Word and if you haven't read it today, yesterday, or the day before, you are in need of some serious grooming. His Word will wash you and make you ready.

 I know what a busy life is like and I struggle in this area, but would we ever leave our homes half-dressed and smelly? Probably never! Yet many of us are walking around like this on the interior. We are in need of an inward makeover.

For the next few weeks, let's talk about heart reflections and how we can spend time peering into our souls. The last post on Silk and Purple was a photo. Use it as a gift from Silk and Purple! Print it out and hang it on your mirror to help you with some exterior, and interior, grooming before you walk out the door.

The Buzz

We are so honored to have Fashion Belle list Silk and Purple as a resource in their blog library and feature us today on Fashion Belle's home page.

Check out the post and more here!

Embracing Individuality

 One of the most important things a young woman can know (besides that she is a child of God) is that each and every girl on this earth is different and special in her own way. There are so many different physical, mental, and personal traits out there that each one of us is completely unique. God sure does pay attention to detail, does He not? It's amazing to think that He is so diverse in His Creation that no two people will ever look or act exactly the same. This is important to remember when faced with peer pressure. Every young woman eventually must face times where she will be pressured to choose between being a distinct individual or being in the "in crowd." Whether it's as a young girl or long into adulthood, it can be very hard to stay content as to who God made you when it makes you seem like the odd man out.

"If your friends said that they were going to jump off a bridge, would you do it, too?"

   As annoying as this phrase can get if overused, whoever came up with it sure did have a point. There is a fine line between the real you and the you that others want you to be, and if you aren't careful, you can end up getting hurt. In situations where a friend is asking you to do something of questionable integrity (in which case I would not call her a friend), it's best to pray about it without making any rash decisions. If you think that God would be disappointed in you for something, and I mean anything, then it's better to stay away from it. Also remember to ask yourself, "Is this something I'd want my loved ones to see me do? Do I want this to be the first thing that comes to mind when people think of me?" What can be one of the greatest helps to you is having a strong relationship with your father and mother. Their advice to you when you don't know what to do is invaluable.

  When a girl is young, she sees herself as who she truly is -- a beautiful, unique creation of God -- and doesn't doubt this fact. As she matures, she starts to question herself and falls into line with whomever she spends time with, generally losing the originality that makes her who she is. Now don't get me wrong; it's still there. It's just been pushed aside so that a new version of this girl can take over. Normally the "new version" is brought on by stress, pressure from friends, and life changes like moving to a new town. Whether trying to be the perfect dancer, the most popular girl in youth group, or the girl that can outrun the guys, every young woman has moments in which she ends up being a people pleaser. In hard situations, remember that you can't please everyone. As I've said before, no one is perfect, and while you can avoid it to some extent, there will be people that don't particularly like you. I know it can be rough, but in the end, staying true to Christ and who you are in Him is a lot more important than being everyone's best friend. God will love you no matter what, and that's what really matters.  

     

    

   

  The important thing to remember is that, like the little girl in this picture, we should look at ourselves not with criticism, searching for things we need to change, but with a child-like innocence and wonder. For as the Bible says, we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." And if you're ever in doubt of how wonderfully made you are, think to yourself, "I am special, and no one else in the world is like me. I am beautiful, because God made me. I am me, and no one has the plan that the Lord has made for my life."

The Syndromes

I know it can be discouraging at times. I've walked miles in malls and shopping centers in search of clothing that not only was modest, but reflected my own style. It's been my experience that many young women think that in order to be modest we have to "give up" our personal preferences because the store only has limited options of modest, affordable clothing.

I could say that it's not fair, but Jesus never said that following Him would be easy.
It is worth it, though.

I have observed that young women who start out with the best intentions to look modest sometimes become disheartened and fall into either one of two syndromes. These syndromes reflect two extremes and usually don't happen overnight. There is a balance to everything, and I certainly can't hold up the perfect way to dress. My advice to you is to see which way you tend to swing within the two syndromes. It may reveal a deeper heart issue in which you'll need to prayerfully seek God's guidance.

Give-in

Our culture wants us to give in. It wants us to raise our white flag of surrender, proving that there's nothing really special about our King. It wants us to look just like everybody else, not set apart as Jesus calls us to be. I have known many young ladies with the best intentions to be modest examples of the faith, only to be doused as soon as they had to purchase clothing, shoes, or makeup. We go to the malls expecting to find feminine, modest apparel whenever we need it. Oh, how I wish that was true! So many gals get frustrated and give in to follow what fashion dictates. Giving in can be the “easy” way, but we would miss out on the precious purity of presenting ourselves as ambassadors for Christ!

Giving in doesn't always start abruptly. It starts in small choices and slow fades. A young woman doesn't wake up one morning deciding to be the hottest chick on the block. It's choices like, "I can buy this; it's just a little shorter."

Ladies, we can justify and talk ourselves into anything! This is why it's so important to have God-fearing people in our lives to help us make wise decisions -- be it regarding clothing or any life choices. Accountability is key.

Give-up

You might be saying to yourself, “I’ve not given in. I am NEVER immodest, and I don’t care what fashion says.” This is great to hear, but are you in danger of practicing the ways of Pharisaical pride and looking unwelcoming, rather than practicing the values of the Proverbs 31 woman? Perhaps you are tired of trying to fit into the culture or you simply don’t know where to start in looking well-groomed as an ambassador for Christ.

Giving up is one of the most common attitudes in Christian young ladies. They are faced with the world's perspective of appearance, and instead of fitting in or giving in, they fall into not caring for themselves and have a lazy spirit about upholding feminine beauty. They say to themselves, “Why try? I don’t care," or "I don’t want anyone to look at me.” They are determined not to join the world and this is very admirable, but they end up retreating in the fight against immorality, not standing firm. 

So why does this matter? 
Well, either way, the culture wins. If it can’t get you to give in, its next step is to beat you down so you will not stand for feminine excellence. If we raise our surrender flag in this way, our culture will use us as an example of, "She let herself go; you don't want to join her fight.” Pop culture rationalizes that its way is the only way because it appeals to women's vanity. Looking homely will turn people away from who we are, because as I have said many times before, the world is summing us up in the few seconds it takes to glance our way.

Solutions to finding balance in beauty can be as simple as finding colors that become you or adding a cardigan to a dress. These quick fixes, and many like them, will help ward off the syndromes. Use the creativity our Creator has given you and find like-minded young ladies who have great ideas. I agree that when you go to the mall you can easily become overwhelmed by immodest clothing and photography. Not to mention the prices $$$! Yet, as we've seen on Silk and Purple, it is possible to find clothing that is not only modest, but is lovely and age appropriate. Have fun in the searching and keep a joyful spirit.

I hope Silk and Purple encourages you so that you may stand firm -- not giving in or up -- as an ambassador for Christ!

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P.S. Don't forget about our giveaway from the Botkins!!!

Pride and Prejudice (The Modern-Day Version)

     Let me start by saying that this is not a novel, my name’s not Jane Austen, and anyone who knows me can tell you that I’m nowhere even close to being British. The reason I chose Pride and Prejudice as the topic for this post is because while the great Elizabeth and Darcy are mere fictional characters, the essence of their story is constantly being portrayed in our society. We can’t see past each other’s shortcomings, and for this we often lose great opportunities.

A lot of our pride and prejudice comes from being stubborn. We are so set in our own ways that we refuse to see the big picture if it isn’t what we want it to be. Now don’t say you’re not a stubborn person, because this quality is in everyone to some extent. And if you’re still denying your stubbornness, then chances are you’re even worse off than we who admit it are. Being stubborn can be an obstacle when working with a group because those working with you may not agree with your ideas, which may or may not lead to the second thing that can be harbored within pride: having a bad temper. I know it can be hard to keep your cool when you have a lot to deal with -- school, housework, or whatever it is that builds stress can make you do and say things that you’ll eventually regret. One of the best ways to prevent this is to stop what you’re doing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself, “Is what I’m about to do honoring to God?” Just ask Him -- you’ll get an answer.

All I can say about prejudice is that it is what it is, and it doesn’t have to be something huge like racism or prejudice over religious beliefs. It can be as small and seemingly insignificant as, “Well, I don’t want to spend time with them because they’re not from the best neighborhood.” Now is that a national scandal? Not at all, but it can really hurt the feelings of whomever you’re talking about. Another example of an act of prejudice is being judgmental of people because of what clothes they wear. So what if someone you know doesn’t wear the latest trends, or if they don’t dress the way you typically dress? I mean, I myself enjoy thrift store hunting just as much as shopping at the mall. All that should be important to you is clothing yourself to glorify God and setting the right example for other girls around you.

I encourage you to not look at people as black or white, as Democrat or Republican, as rich or poor, or as any other label you can think of. Because God loves us all the same, and in the end His opinion is the only one that matters. So don’t succumb to the temptations of pride and prejudice. There are many arguments worth the choosing of one side, but strive not to become blinded by the things that don't matter! Elizabeth and Darcy were able to work out their silly arguments! You can have a happy ending, too! 

  For those of you out there who haven’t yet read Pride and Prejudice, be sure to check it out at your local library. It’s great!!!  

Reclaiming Beauty Giveaway (Closed)

Silk and Purple has teamed with Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin to give away one registration to the online webinar series Reclaiming Beauty!

All you need to do to enter is leave a sweet comment on this post and share this giveaway with your friends. Winner will be selected at random, so enter by Thursday, August 30, 2012.

Winner will be announced August 31, 2012.

If you are new to Silk and Purple and like what you see, follow us or like us on Facebook.

What is beauty?

Some say beauty fits in a size 0. Some say beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Some say beauty is only skin deep. Some say beauty is only a quality of the heart. Some say beauty is truth. Some say beauty is a lie. Some say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some say beauty is as beauty does. Some say Elizabeth Taylor and Grace Kelly are beautiful. Some say everyone is beautiful. Some say beauty is divine. Some say beauty is corrupting.

From all this confusion, one idea emerges clearly: The world knows beauty matters. They talk a lot about it, write poetry and paint paintings celebrating it, and spend $160 billion dollars a year on it. But what’s equally clear is that they don’t know what it is. The question is: Do we?

Today’s young Christian women have grown up in the most image-obsessed generation in history, a generation that worships some of the most twisted ideals of beauty the world has ever seen. But whether we love them or hate them… they tend to shape our own perceptions of what beauty is. Some of us accept its ideals, and struggle to fit into its mold – others of us are repulsed by it, concluding that physical beauty itself is immodest, worldly, and unspiritual, and reject the realm of beautification completely. But when all we’ve ever seen is the counterfeit the world offers, we can sometimes forget that the world did not create beauty – God did. And though we all know the world has a lot to say about image, we sometimes don’t realize how much God does too.

It’s time to reclaim beauty. For thousands of years, believers, pagans, Gnostics, Humanists, Neo-Platonists, iconoclasts, and creators of culture have battled over this critical turf called “beauty.” Today, we have only to look at who designs the fashions, markets the beauty icons, rules the red carpet, adorns magazine covers, crowns Miss America, and designs clothes-and-makeup advertisements, to know who is currently holding the turf.

It’s time to take beauty back. When faced with an industry that runs on photoshop airbrushing, plastic surgery, starvation diets, grotesque catwalk styles, and billions of squandered dollars, our response can no longer be, “Beauty is not for us.” It’s time for our response to be, “Get your flag out of our ground.” It’s time for us to be a light in a culture that uses beauty as a weapon against God. 

It’s time for God’s ambassadors to make His principles – such as modesty and femininity – look as beautiful as they really are. It’s time for us to show the world: Ugliness is not beauty. Emaciation is not beauty. Androgyny is not beauty. Immodesty is not beauty. Unnatural distortion is not beauty. From Genesis to Revelation, God paints a different picture of the inner and outer beauty of a woman, and it’s time to show the world what it really looks like – one soul, one body, one face, one closet at a time.

Find out more here!

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Winner Announced

8/31/12

McKenna!!!!

"I'm so excited about this webinar! I have posted this on Pinterest and Facebook. It's so nice to find some sisters in Christ around the web. What a blessing this is!!! 
God Bless,
McKenna"

Please contact us to claim your prize!
silknpurpleprov31@gmail.com

True Perfection: What Society Says and What God Says

"Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues."

-- Hugh Prather

A common misconception in our society today surrounds the definition of true perfection. We seem to think of it as an attainable thing, as if owning the newest shoes or the shortest skirts can help one to reach this goal. For this reason, when many people think of perfection, they think of it as a physical state rather than a moral state. Let me ask you this: if perfection were something I could hold in the palm of my hand, then why in the world can't I achieve it? How come my skin isn't always flawless, and why have I had braces on my teeth for the past year? Neither of these things are considered "perfect" in our society, but lots of people experience them. And what about the lifelong concern many people have regarding their weight? They obsess over having the "perfect body", when in reality, it doesn't exist. God made us all different shapes and sizes, and He sees each of us as beautiful in our own way.

Another thing some people think will make them perfect is being especially nice to other people. While it's definitely true that God wants us all to encourage one another, it won't do a thing to help or hinder someone's "perfection status." I mean, I could go door to door and hug every person in my community, but does that make me a better person? Not at all. I'd be very memorable to people of course (which isn't always a good thing, if you know what I mean), but there wouldn't be a soul in my town that would think, "I bet that girl's perfect the way she's going around hugging everybody."

One thing that bothers me is that there are a lot of people out there that spend so much time trying to make their friends think they're more perfect than the rest. These people miss out on enjoying others! I know they mean well, but let's just face it -- if someone tries too hard to be the "saint" of a relationship by correcting other people on their flaws, probably nine out of ten of us will get the impression that this friend is meaning it as a personal jab. A true friend tries to encourage others. Be sure not to confuse encouragement with just being "nice." True friendship in the body of Christ helps each other see our errors, but not in a way that makes the one person look better. There is a time and place for reproach, but we must look at our hearts and seek counsel from scripture as to how to help each other deal with sin.

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.~ Proverbs 25:6  

The most important thing to know is that no one but God is truly perfect. All of us here at Silk and Purple are aware of that and I'm sure that most of y'all are, too. We are sinful, forgetful, fallen human beings, and we've been that way since the fall of man all those years ago. This may seem like a tough break, because we weren't even there when it happened, but don't blame Adam and Eve. I can tell you for certain that I probably would have done the same thing. We're not perfect, but we've got a God who is. He's saved everyone who is willing to accept Him, so while I'm on this earth I must strive to please Him rather than please the false perfections of this world. My sins are forgiven, and God's got an Eternal Home waiting for me when my time here is finished. So relax and lean back into His arms. Based on everything He's done for us so far, I'd say He's got us covered + so much more!