Monday, August 27, 2012

The Syndromes

I know it can be discouraging at times. I've walked miles in malls and shopping centers in search of clothing that not only was modest, but reflected my own style. It's been my experience that many young women think that in order to be modest we have to "give up" our personal preferences because the store only has limited options of modest, affordable clothing.

I could say that it's not fair, but Jesus never said that following Him would be easy.
It is worth it, though.

I have observed that young women who start out with the best intentions to look modest sometimes become disheartened and fall into either one of two syndromes. These syndromes reflect two extremes and usually don't happen overnight. There is a balance to everything, and I certainly can't hold up the perfect way to dress. My advice to you is to see which way you tend to swing within the two syndromes. It may reveal a deeper heart issue in which you'll need to prayerfully seek God's guidance.


Our culture wants us to give in. It wants us to raise our white flag of surrender, proving that there's nothing really special about our King. It wants us to look just like everybody else, not set apart as Jesus calls us to be. I have known many young ladies with the best intentions to be modest examples of the faith, only to be doused as soon as they had to purchase clothing, shoes, or makeup. We go to the malls expecting to find feminine, modest apparel whenever we need it. Oh, how I wish that was true! So many gals get frustrated and give in to follow what fashion dictates. Giving in can be the “easy” way, but we would miss out on the precious purity of presenting ourselves as ambassadors for Christ!

Giving in doesn't always start abruptly. It starts in small choices and slow fades. A young woman doesn't wake up one morning deciding to be the hottest chick on the block. It's choices like, "I can buy this; it's just a little shorter."

Ladies, we can justify and talk ourselves into anything! This is why it's so important to have God-fearing people in our lives to help us make wise decisions -- be it regarding clothing or any life choices. Accountability is key.


You might be saying to yourself, “I’ve not given in. I am NEVER immodest, and I don’t care what fashion says.” This is great to hear, but are you in danger of practicing the ways of Pharisaical pride and looking unwelcoming, rather than practicing the values of the Proverbs 31 woman? Perhaps you are tired of trying to fit into the culture or you simply don’t know where to start in looking well-groomed as an ambassador for Christ.

Giving up is one of the most common attitudes in Christian young ladies. They are faced with the world's perspective of appearance, and instead of fitting in or giving in, they fall into not caring for themselves and have a lazy spirit about upholding feminine beauty. They say to themselves, “Why try? I don’t care," or "I don’t want anyone to look at me.” They are determined not to join the world and this is very admirable, but they end up retreating in the fight against immorality, not standing firm. 

So why does this matter? 
Well, either way, the culture wins. If it can’t get you to give in, its next step is to beat you down so you will not stand for feminine excellence. If we raise our surrender flag in this way, our culture will use us as an example of, "She let herself go; you don't want to join her fight.” Pop culture rationalizes that its way is the only way because it appeals to women's vanity. Looking homely will turn people away from who we are, because as I have said many times before, the world is summing us up in the few seconds it takes to glance our way.

Solutions to finding balance in beauty can be as simple as finding colors that become you or adding a cardigan to a dress. These quick fixes, and many like them, will help ward off the syndromes. Use the creativity our Creator has given you and find like-minded young ladies who have great ideas. I agree that when you go to the mall you can easily become overwhelmed by immodest clothing and photography. Not to mention the prices $$$! Yet, as we've seen on Silk and Purple, it is possible to find clothing that is not only modest, but is lovely and age appropriate. Have fun in the searching and keep a joyful spirit.

I hope Silk and Purple encourages you so that you may stand firm -- not giving in or up -- as an ambassador for Christ!


P.S. Don't forget about our giveaway from the Botkins!!!


  1. Great, encouraging post!
    I know so many girls that don't seem to have a problem finding pretty, modest clothes, and then others that can't find anything. Part of it depends on where you live ( thrift stores in some states or counties are better than others), as well as what body type you have. I have no problem finding nice shirts, because I am very average size up top. Skirts are another matter. I have long legs, and therefore most skirts are just too short. Still, I can't give up looking. Let's just say I have way more shirts than skirts:)

    1. You are very correct. Thank you for your comment!